The life of Eric Cartman will never be the same after going in for a routine tonsillectomy. A mishap at the hospital results in Cartman being diagnosed with an incurable disease, and with little support from his friends. Now he is determined to find a cure, even if it costs him all his toys.

While taking a vacation in the Colorado mountains near South Park, Britney Spears has a run-in with the boys. After an incident at a hotel room, they attempt to help Britney escape from the stressful celebrity lifestyle she lives by taking her to a place she can rest. But the boys soon learn the true nature of Britney's success and the powerful forces behind it.

The newest drug craze hits South Park. It's called cheesing and the boys are afraid Kenny has become hooked on it after missing school. Meanwhile, Kyle is busted for holding onto contraband, which forces his father Gerald to come face to face with his Heavy Metal past.

Canada has had enough. Lead by the World Canadian Bureau, the country enters a long and painful strike in hopes the rest of the world will meet their demands. As a result of the strike, the boys are not able to see new episodes of their favorite comedic duo, Terrance and Phillip. It's now up to them to help Canada and end the strike.

Despite receiving a sex change, the boys teacher Ms. Garrison still believes to be a man on the inside. With Garrison out searching for a way to become a man again, Cartman substitutes for the day. After the kids receive stellar test scores, Cartman is taken to an inner-city school to teach. But before he does that, he decides to change his appearance.

When the citizens of South Park discover the Internet is gone, they can no longer function. After hearing a rumor, the Marsh family packs up and heads west in hope of finding Internet there. Much like the California Gold Rush, they soon find that they're not the only ones looking.

South Park Elementary has sent Mr. Garrison's fourth grade class on a field trip to Pioneer Village, a historical reenactment town where all of the employees roleplay as if it were 1864. However, when Cartman discovers a Super Phun Thyme exists right next door, he forces Butters to sneak out of the complex so that the two of them can do something that is actually fun. Unfortunately, things take a turn for the worse when a highly armed group of thieves burst into Pioneer Village.

Cartman, worried that the Chinese have plans to invade America, forms the American Liberation Front in an attempt to prevent the impending takeover. After the support he's counting on fails, it's up to Butters and Cartman to confront the Chinese alone. Meanwhile Stan, Kyle, and the rest of the boys have trouble dealing with the recent rape of a close friend.

Wendy gets in trouble when she threatens to beat up Cartman after school. No matter how fired up Wendy is, all bets are on Cartman. Everybody knows a girl can't fight a boy and win.

The boys find a way to make money off an international crisis that requires no talent and very little effort. Cartman convinces the other boys to invite Craig to get in on their latest plan. He knows Craig has just what it takes to make their dream a reality.

This week, the boys are lost in the Andes Mountains where they discover the startling secret behind the attack of the giant guinea pigs. The boys now have the power to rescue their town and the rest of the world from the onslaught but the Head of Homeland Security stands firmly in their way. Meanwhile, Randy bravely documents the destruction while trying to save his family.

A new President has been elected and the citizens of South Park are partying in the streets in an all-new episode of South Park. While the country celebrates, the President-elect catches everyone off guard when he arrives at the White House prematurely. From the Oval Office, the new Commander-In-Chief assembles his team and prepares for the job ahead.

Stan realizes he could lose Wendy if he doesn't get on board with the latest fad to hit South Park Elementary. Cartman would rather kill himself than succumb. But, when Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman all realize that Butters is now more popular than they are, they have no choice but to give in to peer pressure.

Butters is sure he's seen a vampire at school but he can't get anyone to listen to him. Meanwhile, the Goth Kids are angry and frustrated when the other kids can't tell the difference between a Goth and a Vampire.